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How are you really doing?

Monday, March 22, 2021

Hey you!

I hope you’re doing well! But you know, even if you’re not, that’s okay. I haven’t been doing very well myself. Today’s a good day, but they’ve been quite rare lately. As those of you who know me for longer know, there’s no reason to worry, I do have help with my troubles and I’m working on them. I have a lot going on that I don’t feel like discussing with everyone, so I like to keep the image of me happy & polished – as most of us do. I don’t do it because I’d be ashamed of not being okay, but just because just like I try in real life as much as I can, on my social media I want to focus on the positive (my blog is the realest exception haha) to cheer myself up.

It’s been a long year of pandemic related troubles. It’s been a long year of living in a society where we’re always told to achieve more, do better, and make it look easier. It’s been a long year of living in a world where we’re constantly over-stimulated by signals from social media, constantly reachable and constantly subconsciously comparing our lives with those of the others. It’s been a long year of studying or working or what ever you’re doing, even if it’s just occasionally getting out of bed. Damn that sounds exhausting.

On top of that exhaustion, some of us also have health problems, may they be physical or mental, visible or invisible. On top of that some of us have traumas to overcome, troubles with their loved ones or any other type of problem that we don’t have any idea of. Gosh we’re so strong for being able to carry on.

A friend of mine, who knows about some of my troubles, asked me a while ago: How are you really doing? I love that friend and I love that she specified her supposedly small talk-related question – she knew that I put on a brave face even when I may have dried my tears just a half a minute ago. So, I’m now here to ask you all – how are you really doing?

If you’re really doing good, I’m so glad for you. If you’re really not doing so good, please know that you’re not alone. When you look outside you only see the outside; people putting on their best clothes, their best set of makeup, their best pictures and their best fake smile. I’m not telling you to start questioning everything and everyone, but I’m telling you to remember that you don’t see everything on the outside. I can not repeat it enough – Everyone has a story to tell. Be kind. Always. And the same goes for you – be kind to yourself!

Whether you’re doing good or less good, please do something nice just for yourself. And stop thinking that everyone else has it better than you! Or on the contrary – stop thinking that you can’t feel sad because people have it worse than you. Every problem matters, and problems can not be compared. What matters is that you try and work on your problems, and that you don’t let them affect how you treat others.

I keep hearing from so many people how they’re really not doing good, and yet if you wouldn’t really talk with them you’d never know. People, you’re so strong and I admire you so much just for getting out of bed every morning! I think we should start a club of supporting each other – we all struggle sometimes, it’s okay to struggle and it’s okay to talk about it (if you want to). Let’s just all remember that we’re not alone in this, even if a pandemic sometimes makes us feel like that. Every cloud has a silver lining, and the sun will come out even if it won’t do it today.

 

Sending you a big hug and lots of cheek kisses x

Love,

Anna

 

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SELF CARE

COCOONING

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Everyone has days when they’re down or tired. Some of us struggle even some extra with our mental health and also get days when we’re both – and both on an extreme level. When I say I’m extremely tired, I mean that it’s causing me extreme effort to move any of my muscles. I mean that it’s causing me extreme effort to handle simple tasks. I mean that it’s causing me extreme effort to fall asleep, cause I’m too tired to remember how to do or how to allow myself to do that. 

 

a good cup of tea is usually a good nutrition for cocoons (but never enough nutrition, it’s important to walk all the way to the kitchen certain amounts of times a day)

 

Then I become a cocoon. I lay on the bed/couch, wrap a blanket around myself and just wait. Just wait that I slowly get my energy back. I have phases when I just use all of it, and like all kinds of electronics, people too need to recharge. You can only so long work on 1%. Then the battery dies, and using a dead battery didn’t do anyone any good. 

 

doing relaxing things can be helpful for the cocoon

I’ve been the broken device before. I’ve forced myself to work with an empty battery. It leaves deficits that take a long time to repair. So I don’t want to get there ever again. That’s why I become a cocoon. Being a cocoon is safe. Being a cocoon gives me time to become a butterly again. Being a cocoon is protecting my dead battery. Being a cocoon consists of making yourself to eat some, making yourself to drink some and making yourself to forget about everything else. Being a cocoon is not just my method of evolving into something better, it’s also my protective mechanism. Sometimes the cocoon phase takes a day (when started early enough), sometimes it takes longer. It’s very important not to rush out of the cocoon. No matter if you’re an extra fragile butterfly like me or just a non-issued butterfly who had been flying a little too much, it’s important to your body and become a cocoon when needed. My promise to myself is to always remember to be a cocoon when my wings get a little too heavy, and to always be honest about my experiences with my heavy wings, so maybe other cocoons can avoid crashing like I had. Cocooning is good. Self care is good. 

cocoons can smile again after having given themselves enough time

 

Give yourself some extra love today xx

 

Love, Anna

 

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LIFE RANDOM SELF CARE

body talk

Saturday, February 3, 2018

This theme has been extra popular lately, so popular that we’re probably all tired of it. But its popularity is a great, great thing. So I’m going to bring it up one more time.

As you know your own body is the one thing that you’ll certainly have to live with all your life, so let’s just all be content with ours shall we? Who wants to spend their lives next to something they don’t like. I’m so happy that body positivity and self-love is “in” for people of all sizes, races and sexes. My grandmother has taught me to be very very aware of the risk of type 2 diabetes, so I most of all admire the love for a healthy lifestyle. As long as you live a healthy life (I’m not talking about only drinking green smoothies and working out 24/7 here, that’s not healthy anyways – I mean the general healthy lifestyle that we all know in the back of our minds even without googling fitness gurus) I love your body just as it is and I hope you love it too.

At least most adults have an idea of what a healthy body looks and feels like, but the biggest risk group in my opinion are the kids. A few days ago me and a friend of mine were looking at old photos of us, and we were shocked to see how skinny we were. And I’m not yet even 20 years old so I remember those days really well, and I remember thinking that I was fat. I held my tummy in all day, felt horrible for eating anything unhealthy / too much, looked disappointedly at every mirror, compared myself with everyone else and was only pleased with myself if I looked – now when I think about it – bony. I never believed anyone when they said that I was skinny, and after seeing a movie with a dancer in a crop top I ran in front of the mirror and wondered why didn’t my stomach look like hers, and then probably did some sit-ups in hopes to become more like her. At the age of about 11 years old.

Don’t get me wrong, I was a really happy kid. And I was never dangerously skinny, nor did I have an eating disorder. I did a lot of sports and I did eat quite well so overall I was healthy, but the way I thought about myself wasn’t healthy. And it wasn’t just me, I had a lot of friends who were even skinnier than me and together we would talk about how much weight we wanted to lose. Before even finishing upper school?!

I quit ice skating when I turned 12, so my life changed quite a lot when I didn’t have about 15h of exercise each week. So even though I did start dancing competitively and later doing other sports, little by little and hormone rush by hormone rush I’ve gotten a lot bigger, with muscles and with fat. I probably didn’t need to since I wasn’t too skinny even as a kid, but I know that my body looks just fine. I may want it to look a bit different, but at the same time I know that it doesn’t have to. As long as I maintain a healthy lifestyle (with ehm occasional breaks) I know I’m just fine the way I am, even if I don’t look like all the fitness blogger or influencers on instagram. But this realization has taken me literally ages, my 20th spring in this planet is the first time I actually feel like I can say this without lying. (yes okay, as a baby I probably loved everything – or hated for that matter, I was a grumpy baby) I’m so, so happy that most of the fitness gurus etc. are also speaking a lot about realistic expectations and almost always emphasize the meaning of healthiness above everything else. But there are still a bunch of kids who only see the pics of those influencers in crop tops and then run to the mirror to do some sit-ups. I worry for those kids. I worry that they – same as I worry that I would have if I didn’t have so many healthy people from my ice rink, family and friends around me – would do something to their body, something which might have permanent effects. Even to me, my old discontent with my body still does affect my life in a way – no matter what I look like, the days come too often when I can only spot everything that’s wrong with my body. But luckily I’ve slowly but surely learned to suppress those moments with self-love.

You can’t force anyone to love their body, but we can try to show a good example. Fitness bloggers/instagrammers etc (for example @imrececen, bless her!) are already doing that, and so should we “normal people”. Let’s show the example of loving our selves so that kids would love themselves too. As we all know, kids can sometimes be super mean to each other. And while we can’t go racing each kid, hopefully we can little by little change the society so that it wouldn’t be so mean to them. Let’s try not to comment the tiny flaws in our bodies around kids, let’s try to say less of “I wish I looked like them” around kids and let’s try being more positive about bodies around kids. If all kids are like in Finland, they don’t like their bodies being commented at – like almost no one either – even in positive ways, because often they might take it in a negative way. And they, and we, are so much more than their bodies. That’s the most important thing to remember. And to teach to the kids too. Being healthy (physically and mentally) and being happy walk hand in hand, so I hope that you are both. And hopefully you’re also doing your tiny part for the kids to be that too.

bikini: Kappahl, kimono: Carlings

 

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SELF CARE

HOW TO WAKE UP BETTER

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Okay so this is ironic since I’m writing this (though I’m posting this afterwards, sundays seem to have become my blogging days) in the bus after having lied in my bed for about 40min before getting myself up. But here I am! I’m late, but at least I’m on my way eh.

So, there’s one thing some might know about me and some might not: I. Hate. Early. Mornings. I absolutely despise them. Mornings are my favourite time of the day, but the thing is that if I could choose mornings would never start before 8 am. And I’m seriously thinking about starting my own tiny country where the whole system wakes up a few hours later than the rest of the world. Maybe one day! But since that day is yet not here and I still do have to wake up in time to go to school (though soon I won’t! Since we’re starting ‘studying vacation’ which is certainly not vacation but instead preparing for our matriculation exams, but at least I get to do my own schedules!) or work when others tell me to. But I’ve found my tiny ways to cope with it a tiny bit better. And I’m more than grateful for any other tips! They’re well needed!

MAKE YOUR BED

You feel efficient straight thing in the morning, and also, you can’t just roll back under the blankets. It also makes coming home a bit nicer when your room isn’t a total mess.

WASH YOUR FACE WITH COLD WATER

Well, this one’s a classic.

PUT ON SOME MASCARA

Not to call you ugly or anything, but it’s a researched fact that people look more beautiful when they’re not tired. So after an ill-slept night standing in front of the mirror before 7 am I just feel like going to bed to hide from my puffy eyes and pale skin. So by cheating myself so that I don’t look as tired, I also don’t feel just as tired. Cold water / moisturizing cream for your face helps with the paleness together with eyebrow pen especially if you’re as fair as I am. And then the mascara to make your eyes not look just as puffy – and voilá! Of course this isn’t really a thing if you put on a whole set of makeup every morning but if you’re like me and don’t even know how to do that kind of magic and anyway prefer to stay in bed a bit later, this tip’s for you, as in us.

 

DRINK / EAT SOMETHING WITH VITAMIN C

My all-time favourite way to start the day is by drinking a smoothie I made myself and if (honestly it’s not an if) I’m in a hurry, taking a glass of good orange juice. It feels like drinking a piece of sunlight! Or you could just eat an orange, but let’s just be honest and agree that drinking is a lot easier (and if you make the juice yourself from oranges and water it’s just as healthy).

LISTEN TO YOUR HAPPY SONG

Or you can borrow one of mine; “She moves in her own way” from The Kooks works quite well!

DO SOME SPORTS

Okay, this doesn’t work for me. I’m definitely not enough of a morning person for this. But I know this definitely works for some!

 

WEAR SOMETHING ELSE THAN A HOODIE AND SWEATPANTS

I mean there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a hoodie and sweatpants, but I swear that instead of wearing something that makes you feel like you’re still in bed, take the mascara tip and cheat yourself by not looking so tired.

EAT A GOOD, PEACEFUL BREAKFAST

Again, a classic. But in a hurry there’s no time for this so then you (I) have to grab your vitamin C and other fruits & quark and eat them on the way. The main thing is not to skip breakfast!

 

DRINK A GOOD OLD GLASS OF WATER

No explanations needed, right?

TAKE A STEP OUTSIDE

Bring the trash out, go get your mail or what ever it is but breath fresh air for a bit.

OPEN YOUR WINDOW BLINDS TO SEE SOME LIGHT

Okay well I live almost in the area of polar nights so for half a year this definitely doesn’t work for me but if you’re a bit luckier please enjoy it for me too heh!

STAY CLEAR OF YOUR PHONE

IT’S A TRAP! If you start scrolling through your feeds first thing in the morning, you’ll probably stay there for it to be your second and third thing in the morning too.

PUT SOMETHING WHERE IT BELONGS / ENLARGE YOUR GIVING AWAY- PILE

To me this is something that always makes me feel good, whether it’s finally folding my clothes and putting the to the closet from the chair where they’ve been for the past weeks, or organizing my desk or finally deciding to give away the shirt that I haven’t liked for years. And when  I start my day by doing as efficient as this (that’s what I tell myself, even though it takes about half a minute) my day starts a lot better.

Maybe also stretch a bit and if you’ve got time do a 5min yoga session (Asaka Rebel- app is amazing for this!!), put on a refreshing face mask and do the other nice things that make You feel happy and awake. And have a good day xx