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Alors on danse

As my Saturday has been rather quiet day due to sleeping for the most part. My tonsillitis is bothering me, well has been for the past couple of weeks. Earlier this week it came back and I wasn’t able to rest as much as I wanted to, so I chose to rest today. I was going to work on my photos but I felt restless, I could not concentrate on the work I was doing. With this project, I want to focus, as brainless as this stage may be. Instead, I ended up daydreaming about moving to a new country and talking to friends on Facebook. Can I just say that I love the friends I have in my life? No matter who I am talking with, even if they’re across the ocean (well, most are since Ireland is an island), the connection has not changed. In fact, I’ve become closer with people whom I’ve not thought I would. With whom I wasn’t that close when they lived here but still liked hanging out with them when I did see them.

Getting sidetracked here a bit again. I was procrastinating many things as I usually do. It was getting closer to 7 PM and I had to push myself to do something. Anything. I started cleaning up the place while waiting for the shower to heat up. Am I glad to have cleaned up, it was getting too much for me, when the house is cluttered so is my mind. I wasn’t feeling like going anywhere that day, least of all going out. Well maybe if my friends had said they would go to Diceys with me but they wanted to go elsewhere which is further away from me. Being in the shower I thought to myself what have I got to lose, besides I haven’t gone out for a few weeks and otherwise I’d be cooped up inside locked in my head. Besides, one of my friends F. she just moved back here so it’d be nice to catch up. I start getting ready for the night out. Putting on Dutch house music to get me in the mood. Rushing out the door as I realized I only had 15 minutes till the bus came and I wasn’t even ready. Just took everything I needed with me and waited for the bus to arrive and putting the final touches on the bus.

I take the bus further to South side of Dublin than I normally do but I still end up being about a kilometer off this place. I didn’t actually mind because the night was warm, which still had that late-summer feel to it. I could smell it. I love those kinds of nights. Since I didn’t exactly know where this place was, I put on the GPS on my phone. It took me through some smaller darker alleys, not knowing the area too well I was a bit nervous going through them. It seemed to be a quiet night in town anyways. I knew I’d be okay, was just more alert than usual.

 

Finally finding this club/bar, as J.Lo’s Jenny from the Block is playing in the background, I call my friends to ask where they were. Waiting for about ten minutes, they arrive. With the four of us, we get to the bar where we have to wait seemingly long to order our drinks. This place has so many floors and rooms, most of which have been booked for private parties. Since two of my friends smoke, we find the outside smoking area and stay there for awhile. I listen to what they are discussing, joining the conversation every once in awhile as I sip through my drink. I can feel the alcohol running through my veins, when I suddenly remember I hadn’t eaten much during the day. Once they’re finished smoking their cigarettes, we go downstairs to the actual club section and hit the dance floor.

We were wondering what’s going on as most of the people in this place were dressed up in costumes. Not bothered by it, just being curious. I put the empty glass on a table so I can dance more freely. We were actually one of the only ones to be dancing on the dance floor. Why is it that people are afraid to be the first ones to go dancing? That is the purpose of going to a club, right? Otherwise, you’d go to one of the hundred’s of pubs that Dublin has to offer. My friend points out that the DJ is a woman, it is not often that you have female DJ’s. The songs playing were not really my style of music but I still go with the flow. Thankfully there is a bar downstairs as well, so I go get my second drink of the night, and this bar isn’t as busy as the one upstairs so I get my drink almost immediately. As I get back on the dance floor, the DJ plays one of my all time favorite house anthems, Destination Calabria by Alex Gaudino. Suddenly I realize the floor is full with people dancing and enjoying themselves. Some more drunk than others, couples dancing together, some being off the floor to make out. I don’t care, I’m too lost in the beat, singing through the song all the way. Back in 2008-2009 when the song was a huge hit in the Netherlands, I used to listen to it a whole lot.

Getting accustomed to Dutch DJ’s and their standards, going to a club here is a bit of hell-ish experience for me. Dutch DJ’s have the top notch quality, it is no wonder so many become so popular. My ears have been trained so well that I can hear when the beat changes, I can anticipate what’s coming next. I hear the small hi-hats somewhere in the background giving the tempo while the bass drum gives the actual rhythm. In Ireland, the DJ’s aren’t that great to be honest, or I’ve not met one yet that would have the same standard. It is always so off-putting for me when the transition of the song does not go smooth and the following song is completely different tempo, different style. I never know what to do. However, I’ve become accustomed to this by now. I’ve lowered my standards and do not expect much anymore. Maybe because of that, I felt this DJ was better than average of what I’ve heard.

Following Destination Calabria was Macklemore’s most famous song Can’t Hold Us, even after over a year this song seems to get the crowd going. Now everyone was dancing and singing as loud as they could. We were no different. My guy friend E. was talking to some cute girls, doing what he does best. He is not your average Finnish male who stands in the background without moving a muscle or he needs to get absolutely wasted in order to talk to girls. Then again, he is from the capital town area, they’re different there.

After awhile, we decide to hit the bar once again before going for another smoke. We all have new drinks in our hands, following one another to the smoking area. I normally don’t smoke but F. offers me one and I took it. Since E. and I are drinking the same drink, he mentions that his drink is quite strong. We taste each other’s drinks, indeed his is stronger. We exchange them. Somehow, the glass slips from my hands and the drink nearly falls on his shirt and pants. I divided the drink into two glasses so both of us could enjoy a bit more. As we move away from the heat lamps, I check out the people who are outside. I happen to notice this guy who has the most ridiculous hair, it’s kind of long and super curly almost looking as if he has dreads. At a first glance, I thought it was a wig. He must have been mixed because at that light, he didn’t look black and was too tipsy to pay more attention to his other features. I was tempted to go ask him if it is a wig or his real hair but did not want to offend him. Instead, once everyone was done with their cigarettes, we went back downstairs.

 

The music had now changed from pop/dance to hiphop. Wanting to make up for the lost drink, I was looking for E. but he somehow got lost in the crowd. The rest of us stayed on the floor to dance. Once I saw him again, I immediately go to the bar to get us new drinks and hand it over to him. Just as I get back on the floor, Be Faithful by Fatman Scoop is playing. This gives me flashbacks to when I was younger and was watching the movie Save the Last Dance, dreaming of going to a hiphop club so I could dance to that particular song. It wasn’t a hiphop club but it certainly was the least expected song that I would hear that night. The DJ also played some other awesome hiphop songs. I was enjoying it thoroughly, and was extremely happy to have made the decision to go out. Shortly after, once E. had finished his drink, as usual he heads off to Coppers. They should name the place after him since he practically lives there. There are not many weekends that I’ve heard when he’s not been there.

F. and Ep. stay at this place and continue dancing. This is the point where I stop drinking and sit down for a minute, not because I feel sick but I need a breather. When in a crowded place like that, I still need to find the space to myself because I feel others’ vibrations quite intensely. The music has changed back to pop/dance. My friends are dancing and some other groups have joined them as well. I take out my phone and start writing. Yeah, I have the tendency to do that, write at any possible moment I can. I only write when I have something in mind or write about and lately it’s been quite a lot. I have been able to escape my thoughts and my mind till now. This is when I start thinking. Until I hear a proper Dutch house song, unfortunately I do not remember what it’s called. I put my phone away, take my friends’ drinks off the table and give it to them so I can join them to dance. This is what I mean. Dutch house just has a different sound. Though each DJ has their own sound, Dutch house is so recognizable to me. It is a sound I cannot resist. I go crazy, I get lost in the beat, the melody, the small notes and my feet follow the rhythm. The transition to the next song was quite smooth, wasn’t awkward like normally, and I hear the early beats of Put Your Hands Up For Detroit by Fedde LeGrand. Another goldie which will never get old, not at least in my book. This song was actually one of the first songs that introduced me to Dutch house music.

Once the song is over, the flow does not continue and I go back sitting again. I’m starting to get tired at this point. I’ve no desire to drink anymore, except water. The bar is too busy to get a glass of water. I enjoy watching the crowd dancing, I watch my friends dancing. They’re enjoying themselves. I take out my phone again and continue writing. Just random thoughts I have. Alors on Danse by Stromae comes on, so I decide to join my friends yet again on the floor. It is not often that I hear this song either. Stromae is an amazing artist from Belgium but he sings in French. He makes his own music from scratch and he actually has really interesting videos. He’s quite an artist, a talented one at that.

The music continues, I recognizes some of the songs. Songs I like but I’m too into my writing to be bothered to dance. My friends come up to me, asking if we could go to the smoking area. I follow them there. Once F. is done smoking, we realize it’s 2AM at this point. It seems all of us is getting tired, so we decide to head home. They offer for me to go sleep at Ep. & E’s place but I wanted to get to my own bed as I didn’t want to have the hassle of going home the following morning. So I take a taxi home. Ended up talking to the driver about my life. He asked me where I was from and said would never have guessed Finland. I asked him where he thought I was from, and he said that he can hear a bit of Irish accent but it keeps coming and going so he wouldn’t have known. When a native Irish person says I have a bit of an Irish accent, I take it as a compliment. It must have also been because I was tipsy and he had a very strong accent so I sort of started mimicking a little. That made me realize, how long I’ve actually stayed in the country. It’s crazy. I’m actually finally starting to enjoy living here, and the more I get to know Dublin the more it has grown on me. After two years of living here, I’m finally starting to know the city.

However, I now am conscious of my accent because I like to keep it neutral. I also do it on purpose. It is a nice guessing game for people as they have a hard time placing where I’m from. Some have come close, saying I’m from north Europe since south Europeans tend to have very strong and distinguished accents, same with eastern Europeans. Some Irish people have guessed I’d be from the States, and when I say no, they guess Canada. It should be taken as a compliment for it means I sound like a native speaker. To be honest, at this point, I feel English is my primary language and I’m trying to keep up with Finnish. Although consciously, I do switch thinking between English and Finnish as I don’t want to forget Finnish either.

At around 3AM I was finally ready to get to bed. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep. Unfortunately my body woke up before 8AM and I’ve been up ever since. It’s now afternoon and I’ve done two loads of laundry, edited photos for about an hour and been writing this another hour. I’m knackered now. Maybe I should unload the dishwasher and see if I could fall asleep for a little bit. I’m happy I didn’t drink more than I did because the last drink was just enough. I am happy I did go out though despite the feeling of not wanting to, I ended up having fun and danced my butt off. I was able to escape my mind. It was exactly what I needed.

Unplanned circumstances

Something that has been on my mind lately, and not really sure where it has all come from but I seem to be attracting it in my life. I see an article or something regarding this subject at least every other day. So why not talk about it as well?
Reading an article on Daily Mail today, about an American movie called Obvious Child and how the writer of the article can relate to that movieAbortion will always be one subject people will debate on, it has been like that for centuries and I see no change in the future, either. Since this is my blog and I choose what I post here, I want to share my thoughts about this subject.
 
I’m not particularly anti- or pro-abortion. I think, as with many other situations, each have a right of their own. Should abortion be done without much thought? Absolutely not. It is something one needs to think through in their head, and I’m sure that she will, once she finds out she is pregnant. In this day and age, most of us are quite in tune with our intuition, whether we realize this or not. I think one should follow their intuition at all times.
 
We do not know the exact situation or circumstances of the person who decides to go through with abortion. It’s never an easy choice to make. What if she’ll regret it later in life? What if because of that one abortion, she will never be able to get pregnant anymore? What if the pregnancy started out of a rape? Would she be able to afford a child, especially as a single parent? Would she have any support as a single parent from her family members and or friends? Was it just a drunken one night stand and a mistake? Will she ever tell the (possible) father? Would she be willing to give up the child for adoption?
 
Those are all valid questions. I don’t think it is our duty to judge a person. No matter what the issue is at hand, even if it would be being involved with someone who is already taken. There are extenuating circumstances which has led to that situation. You will never know the exact reasons for it, unless the person is willing to tell you.  
 
Sometimes the best thing that could happen to a person, is getting pregnant. It could change their lives for the better. If that person has been a wild child, she might calm down and finally take responsibility of her life.
Should she tell the father? Well again, it depends. I have friends of mine, all being at completely different life situations. One is happily in a relationship and they have a child together. Another friend of mine is a single parent, the relationship with the father is very difficult so they don’t keep much contact. While a third friend of mine, the father is involved but they have a difficult relationship. She even told me if they didn’t have a child together, she would have dumped him a long time ago. However, all of them are happy in the situation that they are in, to them, their child is the most important part of their lives now.
With all of this said, I honestly don’t think anyone should judge one’s decision if they get pregnant and they decide to abort it or keep it. It is up to them, what they want to do. It is up to them, whether or not they will tell the father. Personally, if someone wants to open up to me about their situation, I try to understand the reasoning behind their decision. If they want me, or I sense it that they need me, I will be by their side no matter what. Who am I to judge anyone? I’ve certainly made my own mistakes, we each have. It is part of our journey.
What would I do if I’d get pregnant suddenly? I’m not entirely sure. I don’t know if I’d be able to terminate it. I would have to think about it long and hard. However, I would tell the father. I would want him to know what is going on, and he can make his own decision whether to be involved in the process (whatever it is that I would decide to do) or not. I think that the father should know, unless of course he is threatening, abusive, an addict, you get the gist. By any means, this is not to say that I’d like an unplanned pregnancy. It is just something that has crossed my mind lately, therefore felt the need to write about it as well.
As for the movie, Obvious Child, is definitely something that I will want to watch. The subject is very interesting. Seems like it would be a good movie to watch.

Unconditional love

I finally have a moment to gather my thoughts. So many times, I’ve started writing something but never been able to finish it for one reason or another. I feel the writings have been too scattered, too all over the place and not the quality that I want to publish. Life has been taking me on a ride. I’ve enjoyed it thoroughly, trying to hold on is the hardest part. At least, I’m having fun and finally feel like I’m living my life. I feel alive.

Something that has been on my mind this weekend has been unconditional love. Anyone who crosses my path, I feel nothing but love for them. I give my all to them, no matter what. That has never changed, and I hope it won’t ever change either.

Unconditional love, the purest form of love. Love without any expectations. Love without judgment. Knowing that person through and through yet still standing by their side. Giving them your all without expecting anything back. The best feeling, however, is when you do receive something back for it comes as a surprise to you.

Many people take advantage of love. Even just the word, L-O-V-E. They say it without any hesitation as if they’re saying ‘hello’. For me personally, it takes awhile to get to that point. I don’t want to say it without actually really meaning it. I don’t even necessarily want to say it. I feel it. I show it, in any way that I can.

I am a person who feels a lot more than words can say. I just take a deep breath and feel, anything and everything. As if I’m one with the universe. The unconditional love runs so deep within me that I cannot describe it. It’s gratitude, bliss, feeling blessed, seeing the beauty in absolutely everything, finding each passing day a miracle, people who become part of my life are there for a reason.

I have eliminated people and factors of my life which do not serve this feeling. In exchange, I’ve become more open to new experiences but also to new people. My best friend, whom I’ve now known for a decade, has become my soundboard. I truly can open up to her about everything without fearing of being judged. Even things that I’d normally keep to myself. She does the same with me. It’s a beautiful companionship that we have. She will be part of my life for a very, very long time.

I’ve reconnected with another friend who has become quite important to me over the past couple of months. I met him actually when I first moved to the Netherlands but we weren’t that close at the time. We reconnected when I went to his brother’s place for a visit. As it turns out, we have quite a similar background, it’s quite unreal. Our birthdays are close to each other, and we find it easy to talk to one another. He has become one of my closest friends. I dare say he is the male counterpart of me, or so it feels. It’s unreal how the universe works sometimes and how people reconnect with one another even after several years of not communicating.

I have the most amazing group of friends and supporters in my life now. I feel nothing but love for them. I feel loved. Love that I could not think would be possible to feel. It’s a lot different from just romantic kind of love but it’s not completely platonic either. I just don’t have words to describe it. Each new person who has recently joined my path, please be patient with me. While I am an open book and will give you an honest answer if you ask me something, trust comes in time. Just know that I am grateful to have you in my life and to have you become part of it. Regardless, my unconditional love runs deep even for you. If you don’t know anything else about me, know that when I love, I love with all my heart.

Light as feather

Olen tarkoituksella ottanut kuukauden loman bloggaamisesta. Ensin se vaan jäi, mutta sitten koin paremmaksi vaihtoehdoksi ottaa pientä lomaa ja antaa elämän viedä mukanaan, ilman paineita. Missä sitten olenkaan ollut tämän kuukauden? Kaikkea en halua paljastaa, ihan oman yksityisyyden vuoksi, mutta elämä on ollut kyllä aivan kertakaikkisen mahtavaa. Pienen tragedian jälkeen, kuten eroaminen pitkäaikaisesta suhteesta on ottanut osansa tähän hiljaisuuteen. Ei se vieläkään ole mikään helppo paikka ajatella kyseistä tapahtumaa elämässäni, mutta tuntuu vaan että kun pystyy olemaan hetkessä ja nauttimaan elämästä juuri siinä tilanteessa, mikään ei ole sen parempaa. Niinhän sitä sanotaan, että kaikki on asenteesta kiinni.

I have been on a hiatus for a month from my blog. It was unconscious decision in the beginning but at one point, I decided to take a full month of break to allow life lead me for a change without any pressure. So what have I been up to the past month? I don’t want to say everything as it is too personal for me, however my life has taken 180 degree turn, for the better. After a small tragedy, it is really refreshing to be able to enjoy life’s little miracles. Leaving a long-term relationship has been tough but I’ve managed to turn a negative into a positive. For that, I’ve needed the hiatus from blogging. During the past month, I’ve learned to live in the present moment and enjoy each moment thoroughly. Nothing is better than that. What you set your focus on, will determine how you feel – if you focus on the negative, you will naturally feel more negative and down; if you focus more on the positive, you will feel that way as well. 

 

Toivoin pystyväni saamaan läheiset ystäväni vierelle, ja universumi hoiti sen kyllä aivan ihanasti. Pääsin siskon luokse Hollannissa käymään viikoksi, jolloin tapasin myös näitä läheisempiä ystäviä. Ja myös kavereita, joihin yhteydenpito on vain jäänyt. Ennen Hollannin reissua, olin aivan rikki. Olin vain selviytymis-moodissa, enkä muista niiltä viikoilta juurikaan mitään. Hollannin reissu antoi enemmän tilaa ajatuksille ja uutta perspektiiviä. Otin päivä kerrallaan, hetken ajallaan. Suunnitelmia en hirveästi halunnut tehdä vaan mennä fiiliksen mukaan, tehdä mitä milloinkin halutti. Reissusta haluan kertoa hieman enemmän, onhan tämä “matkailublogi”, joten oma postaus aiheesta tulee myöhemmin.

I asked the Universe to be able to lean on my dearest friends and have them closeby me through this rough time in my life. The Universum responded to me in the most beautiful way. I was able to go to the Netherlands to visit my sister and see some of the greatest friends of mine. I even had the courage to see some old friends, who I’ve not been in touch for a few years. Before I went to Holland, I was completely shattered. I was in survival mode, doing things on automatic, which resulted for me to not remember much of those weeks. I was able to get some distance and new perspective in Holland, I was living in the moment there. I didn’t make too many plans but decided I would just go with the flow and see where the day would take me. I will make an entire post about this trip, since I want to write more about my travels.

 

Kuvia olen saanut otettua kuukauden aikana ihan rutosti, niin että muistikortti on aivan täynnä. Sitten alkaa se jälkikäsittely, ennen kuin niitä voidaan julkaista. On se kuvaaminen vain niin ihanaa ja haastavaa! Musiikin jälkeen, ehkä tärkeimpiä asioita elämässäni. Täytyy kyllä sanoa, että olen kuuden vuoden aikana kehittynyt aivan valtavasti. Laitteiston päivityksen jälkeen, olen oppinut entistä enemmän ja kuvat ovat laadukkaampia mitä koskaan aikaisemmin! Manuaalisäädökset alkavat tulemaan jo ytimestä, ilman että hirveästi tarvitsisi miettiä valotus- ja muita asetuksia.

My memory card of my camera is now completely full of pictures I’ve been taking. Now comes the post-processing and going through the photos. Photography is such an important aspect of my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world! After music, it may be the most important thing in my life. Very unlike to a Finnish person, but I have to say that over the past six years I’ve grown as a photographer. Since upgrading my equipment, I have learned even more and the photos are of better quality than ever before! Slowly, I’m starting to understand the manual settings, they now start to come automatically to me without testing and trying too much.

 

Hollannin reissun jälkeen, kun pääsin takaisin tyhjään kämppään, oloni oli hieman melankolinen. En olisi millään halunnut mennä takaisin sinne tai sitten kun pääsin kämpille, niin olisin vain halunnut vajota maan alle. Niin tai näin, sen viikonlopun jälkeen oloni on ollut todella paljon rauhallisempi. Olen ollut kiitollinen kaikista ihanista tapahtumista, ihmisistä (vanhoista ja uusista), tilanteista, auringosta sateeseen, aivan kaikesta.

When I got back to the apartment from the trip to Holland, I was a bit melancholic. I wouldn’t have wanted to go to the apartment, and once I did, all I wanted to do was just fall 6 feet under. In any case, I made through it and since that weekend I’ve been more content about my life. I am thankful for all of the beautiful blessings I’ve experienced over the past few weeks, for all of the events, people (old and new), situations, from sun to rain, I’m thankful for everything.

 

Olenkin haastanut itseni uusiin tilainteisiin, ja mennyt oman mukavuusalueeni ulkopuolelle. En ikinä nimittäin olisi ajatellut löytäväni itseä Tinderöimästä. Niin siinä sitten kuitenkin kävi, että olen jäänyt monta kertaa jumiin hieman puoliautomaattisesti liikuttamaan kuvia vasemmalle. Olen kyllä muutamat treffit saanu aikaankin, joista ensimmäinen oli aivan täysi floppi eikä meillä oikein löytynyt yhteistä kieltä tai asioita joista puhua. Toiset treffit menivät sitäkin paremmin. En olisi ikinä osannutkaan kuvitella, että kahdenkympin-loppupuoliskolla alkaisin deittailemaan. Olin aina ajatellut itseni jotenkin pitkänsuhteen ihmiseksi. Kaipa sitä sitten kasvetaan kun ikää alkaa kertymään. Ihan hauskoja kokemuksia kaikki tapahtumat ovat viimeisen kuukauden aikana olleet.

I have been challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone and do things I’d normally never do. For instance, I’ve found myself zipping through people on Tinder. As if half-automatically, I just start swiping people left. I have been on a few dates, first of which was a complete flop and we barely said anything to each other. Turned out we had nothing in common, can you talk about awkward? Another date with another person went much better, much better. When I think about it, all I can do is smile. I would never have thought that at the end of my mid-20′s I’d be casually dating. It’s an experience, a fun one at that. You sort of never know what will happen, it can go either way. I’ve always thought of myself as a long-term-relationship-kind-of-person. Maybe I’m growing up, or learning to enjoy life and not take it so seriously all the time.

 

Olen myös käynyt (työ)kaverin luona grillibileissä, jotka muuten ei olisi voinut olla paremmat kemut! Entinen-minä ei välttämättä olisi mennyt paikalle, mutta nykyinen-minä on sen verran seikkailuhaluinen, että kiinnostui sinne menemisestä. Oi että, ilta oli mitä laadukkain hyvän seuran, paremman ruuan ja ihanimman pienen kissavierailijan kanssa. Olin kerrankin rohkeana, ja otin kamerani mukaan. Sain monilta kehuja kamerastani, sekä kamerataidoista kun otin ruuista hienoja kuvia. Itselleni, joka seuraa muita ihania bloggaajia, joilla on viimeisenpäälle ruokakuvia, omat kuvat ovat tuntuneet jotenkin mitättömiltä. Ehkä tällä kertaa kuitenkin onnistuin, vai onnistuinko? Kuvia tulossa kunhan siis saan muistikorttia hieman purettua. Illan päätteksi, eräs toinen kaverini tuli sitten mun luokse jatkoille. Aloimme katsomaan Pulkkista Youtubesta, ja tuli vaan siinä katsoessa mieleen, ettei kukaan ulkomaalainen (joka ei puhu suomea) tule ikinä ymmärtämään suomalaista huumoria. Pulkkinen on yksi klassikko omasta nuoruudesta, kuten on myös Uuno Turhapuro. Muitakin toki löytyy, mutta mainittakoot nyt vain nämä kaksi.

I went to a barbecue party at a friend’s, which could not have gone better! The previous-me would probably not have gone there but the new-me is quite adventurous and wants to experience new things. The evening was perfect with excellent food, good company and the cutest little kitty guest. I was brave enough to take my camera with me for once. Many complimented on my camera as well as my photography skills. Someone who follows many bloggers who have lots of amazing perfect shots, my own photos have seemed of lesser quality. Maybe, just maybe, this time I succeeded, or did I? You be the judge once I am able to go through the photos. At the end of the night, another friend of mine joined me at my place for an afterparty and we started watching some Finnish comedy show. No one else other than a Finn can understand Finnish humor, it’s a bit out there and it can be weird. 

 

Sitten viime viikonloppuna ihanimmista ihanin ystäväni tuli pikavisiitille. Hänellä oli myös synttäripäivä samana päivänä kun saapui maahan. Pidettiin sitten sen kunniaksi synttäriviikonloppu. Jälleen yksi parhaimmista viikonlopuista! Hän pääsi myös kameran eteen, ja oli kuin ihan oikeaa mallia olisi kuvannut. Mitään ei hirveästi tarvinnut ohjastaa, välillä hieman vinkata mihin katsoa, mutta muuten meni kyllä kuvausessio aivan nappiin. Lukuunottamatta alku kankeutta, nimittäin juuri kun pääsimme kuvauspaikalle vesi päätti yllättää meidät. Onneksi siinä kärsivällisesti (tai hieman kärsimättömämmin) odotimme kunnes kuuro loppui ja aurinko päättikin ystävällisesti näyttäytyä. Sunnuntaina pidimme toisen kuvaussession hänen pyynnöstänsä.

Last weekend the bestest of friends came for a long weekend. It was also her birthday the day she arrived here. We decided to make the weekend 3-day celebratory weekend in her honor. It was yet another excellent weekend! She also wanted a photoshoot with me. Boy, was she natural in front of the lens, it was almost as if I was shooting a real model! I didn’t have to direct her too much, only just where to look or minor details when she was unsure what to do but other than that pure natural talent. When we got to the location, after walking about 30 minutes, it started raining. Somewhat impatiently, we were giving up hope until the rain stopped. I told my friend, it’s now or never, and surely soon enough the sun even came out! On Sunday we had another photo session with her. Both sessions we got some great stuff. Both were pleased with the end results. 

Maanantaina oli ensimmäinen kerta pitkiin aikoihin, jolloin tarvitsi taistella negatiivisuutta ja ahdistuneisuutta vastaan. Sekin onnistui, kun keskittyi miettimään kaikkea kivaa. Okei, ehkä pieni shoppailureissu myös auttoi ja että mulla oli myöhemmin illemmalla sitten treffit.

Monday was a more difficult day for me for the very first time in a long time. I had to fight against my negative feelings and anxiety. I was successful at it as I just kept thinking all the amazing things I’ve been experiencing lately. Okay, a shopping trip to the city may have helped and then later in the evening I had a date to look forward to.

 

Nyt on sitten hieman “paluu arkeen ja alas sieltä pilven reunalta” -fiilis. Kaikkia asioita pitäisi jaksaa hoitaa. Haluaisin vain olla omassa pilvilinnassa, jonka olen kerinnyt rakentamaan tämän kuukauden aikana. Pitäisi ruveta suunnittelemaan seuraavaa liikkua, että mikä se olisi ja minnepäin maailmaa. Aloittaminen on ehkä se kaikista hankalin asia mulle. Kun ei oikein tiedä mistä kohtaa sitä pystyisi tai jopa voisi aloittaa. En ole enää semmoinen suunnittelija ihminen, niin kuin entinen-minä oli. Nykyään haluan mennä, minne sydän vie. Tiiätkö sen tunteen kun näppituntumalla vaan menee eteenpäin ja löytää itsensä jostain maailmain ihanimpien asioiden keskeltä? Mulla on semmoinen tunne nyt, ainut vaan etten tiedä suuntaa, jonne mennä. Onneksi tässä on vielä muutama kuukausi jäljellä. Pitää nyt alustavasti alkaa tekemään taustatutkimusta mahdollisuuksista ja ottaa vaihtoehto, mikä tuntuu parhaimmalta.

Now I feel I have to get down from the cloud castles I’ve been on lately. I should have energy to start getting back to reality and organize things. Although, I just would like to stay in my cloud castle. I should start planning my next move, what I want to do next and where to go. Starting it may be the hardest part of it all as I don’t know where to begin. I used to plan a lot more but as of lately, I rather just follow my heart/intuition and see where it will lead me. You know the feeling you can feel in your gut that you’re going in the right direction just unsure where exactly you’ll end up? Yeah, I have that now. I should still start looking at my options and do my research so I can continue going forward, in the direction that feels good to me.

 

Loppukevennykseksi, mitä oikein tapahtui Brasilialle Saksaa vastaan? Peli hieman muistutti hieman suomalaista jääkiekko-ottelua kun pitäisi saada tulosta, niin silloin on huono päivä. Pieni rökitys isäntämaalle ei varmasti muutenkaan tee kovin hyvää. Mielenkiinnolla odotan illan ottelua, mikäli jaksan olla hereillä siihen saakka. On nimittäin unet viimeaikoina jääny lyhyeen, ehkä sitä joskus kerkeää nukkumaan.

As a last note, what happened to Brazil against Germany? The play reminded me a little bit of Finnish ice hockey when they have to do well on the most meaningful game, they usually lose for one reason or another. The thrash cannot be good for the host country. I am anxious to see how tonight’s game will go, if I am able to stay up that late. My sleeping patterns have suffered lately and unable to sleep well, maybe some day I’ll find enough time to sleep.