• Matkatarjoukset:

I’m gonna love you, until you hate me

I came across this awhile back, a friend of mine posted it on their facebook. I wanted to share it as it describes the way most Finns love. I happen to agree with this quote one hundred percent.

A Finnish wife asks her husband, why he doesn’t say “I love you” more to her. The husband replies: “I told you that, when we started to be together, and trust me, I’ll inform you the minute it changes. Till that time, you should think of it as a given.” (The latter sentence is added, in case this Finn is unordinarily romantic.)


People tend to say, that there’s too little love in this world nowadays, so they use the words “I love you” all the time, and think that it creates love more. True love is still built on trust, that doesn’t have to be proven with words. Therefore one could say, that even if we Finns don’t generally appear romantic in the word’s modern sense, we actually still have an exceptional ability to trust people genuinely, so we focus our “romantic energy” in building the environment for the love.


So, yes, I think the concept of movie-like love still exists, but it doesn’t lie on the “I love you” text messages, tweets and fb updates etc., it lies in the ability of building the environment and the future for your shared love. When people love and trust each other, like soulmates, they don’t have to say it, they just know.

Swallow my pride learn to forgive/When looking for love I pretend

In a short amount of time, I have already had my heart broken. Not once, but a few times. I thought I would have learned my lesson of letting go but it still seems to come back. It comes back when I really care for someone, I have a hard time letting them go even if they treat me badly. Some might even say that I lose my self-respect, asking for someone to come back to my life when they don’t necessarily want to.

I will always stand up for what I believe in. I will listen to the arguments the other person has, and my mind may be changed. I’ve come to learn that I am a strong personality, thus will need someone who is strong as well and able to express themselves, no matter what the situation at hand is. The question is, do I lose face when wanting someone who is unattainable? I will not beg anyone for anything, let alone them be part of my life if they don’t want to. Though, this does not mean that it doesn’t hurt. This is the kind of pain that hurts the most, is the most difficult for me.

I thought I had a connection, or two really great connections, actually. I’ve not found something like that in a very long time. There have been different occasions where I’ve had my fun, and continue to do so, but I now realize that I’m missing the connection. The chemistry. The understanding of each other without having to say much but still making the effort to wanting to keep the conversation going and getting to know one another on a deeper level. I kind of got lost in these situations, both having the potential of something more. Each so different but the daydreams were there.


Why did one come back into my life, and the other just entering  my life like a tornado? Both leaving at the same time. As fast as it started, so quickly it ended. Was this the triangle I have been feeling coming for a couple of years now?

He has met his match in me, in the sense that I will call his bull when needed. We have great conversations, some deeper than the others. I was happy he came back into my life, really happy. He opened up about his life, I filled in the gap years to him. Something tells me, our connection is stronger than what meets the eye. He may be what I have been searching for all these years, since our lives and personalities do mirror quite a lot. The situation got too intense for him so he chose to run away for a while. Though he did say something about connecting again in a year or something. Who knows at this point. As always, maybe I’m overanalyzing everything and making it all up in my head. Regardless, I have nothing but respect for him (though how he has treated me and how he sees women, I probably shouldn’t) and he will continue to be dear to me, now that I know what I know. I miss his presence. I will give it time, and hope that when he is ready again, he’ll contact me. I’ve learned not to push people anymore.

He showed me hope in love again when there was none left. When I had lost all of it, he came into my life like a whirlwind. Just as a whirlwind does, he confused the heck out of me. Situation was so complex to begin with that I don’t even know why I felt the need to see it through. As if anything could ever come of it. Yet, I remained hopeful. It felt I was in a dream, daydreaming, seeing all the possibilities of what my life could become. How he’d be the calming force within my otherwise crazy mind. The companionship could have been great. The only fear I had, was I do not want my life to become a routine. I need adventures, I need to be free to do what I want, and do it out of spur of the moment. Do things without planning. So, it did not happen. Though I’ve been able to express myself, I do feel as if I deserved just a little bit more, a simple reply back expressing his thoughts.


I probably shouldn’t even be writing about this. However, what do I have to lose? Besides there is nothing significant about them I’ve posted, just my feelings/thoughts about them.  The off-chance that they will read this post, is quite slim.  I’m writing this for me, maybe this will help me moving on and releasing the energy, allowing newcomers to enter.

Oh well, time to focus on new things. New possibilities. New people. I will get over this feeling and the heartache eventually. Thankfully, I have great friends around me who listen and give invaluable advice. Love will come eventually, when the time is right. When it’s the right person to come along to join the path with me, everything will happen as it should. Until then, I’ll continue to have my fun. I will overcome my slight fear of commitment. Being a romantic person, I will keep hoping for it till it actually happens again for me.

If you look for love you won’t find it because love is never lost

As new characters come into my life, new perspectives follow. Something that I’ve been made aware of as of late, has been being in an open relationship. In one of my previous posts, I touched the subject of what marriage means to me. Coming to the conclusion that I am quite a traditional person and while I find it hard to reason getting married, for the right person, I may want nothing but that. Why I find it hard to reason this, is because I don’t know if I could commit to one person for the rest of my life, and promise them forever when I’m not even sure I believe in forever.

The past summer, guys have come and gone out of my place. Those whom I’ve found a connection with, ones I’ve been comfortable enough to allow them enter into my sacred safe haven. I don’t do one nighters, I need more than that. I need to know that I will be in touch with that person afterwards, that they know my name and I know theirs. So, there hasn’t been very many fellas but a selected few. We’ve had good times, I’ve enjoyed their company, some more than others. It’s been fun thus far.

However, I’ve not felt that I need the fun anymore. I need more than that. I am a passionate person, need a lot of love and affection. It seems that after so many months, I’d be ready for something more serious. I’m not going to go look for it as it doesn’t happen like that. When the person comes along that I’d be ready to commit again, I know I will stay committed to just that one person. Even with the few guys I’ve simply had fun with, I have a better connection with a few than the rest. Meaning that I get more attached to one person over the others. Which has made me realize that I wouldn’t be the type to cheat on anyone and I’d need monogamy, I don’t want to share the person whom I am in love with (once it gets to that point).

This kind of contradicts the way I think of marriage, that I don’t know how to promise to spend my lifetime together with just one person. Maybe there will come a time where I’d want to see if the grass is greener over the fence. We all get tempted at one point or another, there is nothing wrong with just looking.. it’s when you act upon it. There were temptations during my previous relationship, it is just human nature to find someone attractive. It’s absolutely normal, actually.

It’s up to you to make the arrangements of what kind of a relationship you want with your partner. If it would be okay to go have sex with someone else, without getting emotions involved but at the end of the day, your partner will always come first. The partner will be the one, who you’ll come home to and go to bed with. That is the definition of an open relationship. Each will have their own details regarding it but that’d be the basis of it.

I’ve come to realize that us humans we should just go with the flow and if you feel attraction towards the other person, and it feels good, go follow it. Without any judgment or fear. You’ll never know what will happen in the end, maybe that person will be the one who you’ll end up spending many years with. Does this not completely contradict the concept of being monogamous? I mean, if you’re committed to one person, you’re supposed to be with them and yet you choose to play with fire by enjoying someone else’s company but you do not want to share your partner with anyone else? Yeah, we definitely are selfish beings, that’s for sure.

I’m yet again being pushed out of my comfort zone here, though I don’t mind it. Relationships are fascinating. The way our minds work, fascinate me. I love to have different perspectives, which make me contemplate on my own views on the subject.

I suppose, I’ve moved on from having just fun. I’m ready for something deeper at this stage. I won’t go looking for it for I know it… he (or possibly she).. will find me when the time is right. I do not like rules, the only thing that I expect out of any relationship that I currently have in my life, is honesty and communication. I’m not a mind reader, though I can read the vibes/energy and body language quite well. I particularly don’t like it when someone decides for me what I’m capable of handling to hear, no matter what the situation is, I always rather know the truth. I will get more disappointed and annoyed when I’m kept in the dark, just because someone is trying not to hurt me. When I’m committed, I’m only committed to one person. I will tell them if there is something else going on, or if I’d be interested in someone else. It wouldn’t be for me to share the person I’m in a relationship with. I cannot make any promises to commit to that one particular person for forever but if it does feel right, there is a chance I may change my mind.

For the right person, things will feel right and easy, everything will happen at its own course. At its own time. There is no need to push anything to happen, just seeing where the moment will lead you and enjoying in the meanwhile. Even if you get too caught in your own thoughts at times, let them go, do not over-analyze the situation but just let it flow. Let it come as it does, naturally. You will find the answers you are seeking for, when the time is right. Timing is everything.


Maybe it was destiny

As I lay awake at night
In the bed so cold
With no one to cuddle,
No one to hold

Not interested in anyone
But you
You’re the one I think of
You’re the one I want

So far away, unreachable
Though I do know
You want the same
Just don’t know when

Wanting to be close to you
Body craving, yearning
For your touch
Your lips on my skin

One amazing night
Changed everything
Why did it had to happen
Or am I being too impatient

Getting caught in my head
Over thinking, analyzing
Wanting to understand
What you’re thinking

How long are we willing
To stay in this position
When is it enough
To make the decision

Patience, they say
Have patience
Never thought after letting go
This would be my next lesson

Not willing to give you up
As of yet, wanting to see this till the end
Not willing to stop my life
Just for you, though I already know

Deeply infatuated by you
Love is kind, love is patient
Purely unconditional, it’s simple
Based on free will, cannot hurry it

Though I already know
I can feel it in my bones
Earth-shattering, like the Tower
I was meant to be with you

© Sara H, October 2014. All rights reserved.