As new words arise in this world, including twerk and selfie in English, Finland has created some (pronounced something like so-may) meaning social media. Maybe I’m crazy but it could work for English as well. Or maybe not. Anyways, just trying to help you out since it did take me a good while to understand the meaning of it. Moving on..
I am so glad to not have grown up in digital world. Back in the day, we used to have to count the minutes we could spend on the internet as it was counted by minutes. Also, the phone lines were busy during that time so if you were expecting a phone call, you could not be spending your time on the internet. Yes, it was called the internet at that time.
Nowadays, we have all sorts of gadgets that we want to connect online so we don’t lose touch of friends, social media, news, blogs, gossip – whatever is your preference. If we cannot keep up with the world, most of us would be so lost what to do. That begs the question, how did one survive without mobile devices and not being reachable at all times? Oh yeah, imagine that.
Even these days, when I get to go to the cottage in Finland, I don’t even have internet connection on my phone. Most likely, I’ll have my phone turned off or on silent. Not because I want anyone to worry but because I go there to silence my mind. To actually get away from the busy city life. Sometimes you just need that retreat from your digital life and leave it all behind for just a little while. Okay, when I’m in Finland, I actually lose my phone there all the time and my dad often tells me to have my phone close by since mom never hears her phone ringing, especially if we’re going somewhere together with mom and dad would need the car or whatever. You can’t help but to lose track of time in that village.
Especially the teenagers, kids born in mid 90′s who grew up in the 00′s, when technology was growing, they do not realize the harm what social media can do. Everything is posted out in the public for anyone and everyone to see. They don’t realize that once you upload a picture on Facebook, Facebook has the ownership of the picture and even when you remove it from your profile it will stay on their servers and can never be removed. Furthermore, Facebook can use it at their own discretion.
Everything that you do online, can be tracked down. Have you thought about that? Do you think of the consequences when you upload a picture on Instagram or Snapchat? What about that subliminal tweet you just posted? Yes, we all do it at one point or another, especially when we’re upset at someone. It’s an easy way to vent.
The issues arise when that person can actually see your post and figure out it’s about them. Think of this scenario, you are friends on all platforms with your ex who has moved on to someone else. You start stalking them, reading their status updates and tweets, wondering if they ever think of you. You get upset because you see how happy they are with their new love. When you are reminded of them constantly, it is harder to move on.
Moreover, I truly believe that social media can ruin any relationship. The reason why I believe this is because the more active you are, the more likely it is that your significant other will be checking out your updates and posts. We are all guilty of wanting the world to perceive us in a certain way thus online world only shows one dimension of our lives, not the full picture. Miscommunication happens a lot when it comes to digital world, it is best to talk and communicate in real life with your spouse.
Couples who exchange their passwords with one another, is not a healthy thing. A friend of mine once said that no relationship will last if you exchange passwords. Having done that myself, I came to the conclusion that not only was she right but it in fact is a breach of privacy. It would be the same as reading someone else’s diary. You just don’t do that. There needs to be that certain kind of trust between the two, and if you suspect of something, talk about it (preferably in private and not on so-me platforms). Respecting the other’s personal space is a huge thing.
Monitoring your significant other’s profile may not be the healthiest thing either. Not all the updates may have any meaning to them. Reading too much into a random thought he or she decided to share may make your spouse feel you are obsessing over them. Getting overly jealous over someone they may be talking to on a regular basis may scare them further away. Again, communication is the key. Ask about it, talk about it, let it be known it makes you uncomfortable. Do not start dwelling in it only to have it blown up in their faces during an argument.
You may want to think twice when subtweeting or posting other cryptic messages. As mentioned earlier, we are all guilty of having done it at one point or another. However, it still never feels nice especially if it’s in a negative manner. It’s better trying to avoid it and make a note on your phone notes or your diary/journal, somewhere where it’s private. Besides, I’ve come to realize that people do not really react well to negative posts.
Oversharing of your life and relationship status can get overwhelming. I can guarantee most people will also get annoyed if all your updates are about your significant other, what you’ve done, what you’ve eaten, when you take a hot-steamy shower together, how much you miss each other. It’s just too much. Besides, your partner may not want for you to share as much. If you feel this to become an issue, talk about it. In fact, think of it as public online displays of affection – how much do you share on the streets of your life?
The Ex are a touchy subject in most relationships, if you’re keeping in touch with them and your partner has to see your interactions online, it may cause some havoc and jealousy. How would it make you feel if you saw your partner interacting with your Ex all the time? Unless of course, you are playing with fire and provoking for jealousy, that’s a whole another story.
My personal rule of thumb in this digital time is if you are not ready for the whole world to see it, best not to do it. This especially goes for sultry photos and videos. No matter how much in love I am with that person, I just don’t want ever to have face the embarrassment of seeing my picture anywhere publicly. Be smart with your choices, certain things are just meant for between the two of you.
There have been a few times when I have disappeared from the digital world, I’ve done that on purpose. I may have needed my own time and space. I may have not wanted to see the updates of others as it seemed to have overtaken my life. While the digital world connects people together and allows you to stay in touch with one another, life happens outside. It is not inside a computer or a tablet or any other mobile device. You may be missing lots of opportunities if you do not keep your eyes open.
I am actually considering of not adding my next partner on my facebook or follow him on twitter. I’m now curious to know what would that do, would I wonder what he is up to online or if he’s posting about me, would I get jealous? Would it actually be a blessing for the relationship since it happens in real time, not through a device? This will be my next investigation.