10 GOOD THINGS RIGHT NOW

I had a feeling that some positivity was also needed here on the blog, not just out in the sky (oh but I love you Sun). Have a lovely week! xx

1. Days getting longer everyday

2. Easter eggs

3. Late, big breakfasts (always.)

4. Meeting my grandparents and my big sister again

5. The watches granny found from her drawers

6. Lots of good new music (Vance Joy – Nation of Two)

7. Happy Waffle Helsinki

8. The variety of possible plans for next year

9. Tullips and flowers in general

10. Looking trough old travel photos and videos

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Hey, how are you?

There’s one thing that really annoys me. It’s that people -still- seem to have a really hard time realizing that things aren’t always (read: almost never) as they seem. It might be better than it looks, or worse than it looks, or just different from what it looks. Or yeah maybe, in that one case, things seem like they actually are. But that doesn’t mean that they’re always that way. The person who I know the best is, well, me, so I’m the best example that I can use. Last summer I was working as an aupair while also studying for my finals. I absolutely loved it, but it wasn’t always easy with very long days and the finals constantly in the back of my mind. Yet I only posted happy photos of me smiling and traveling around whenever I got the chance (and that’s the one thing I’m good at, using time that isn’t even there, so of course it seemed like I was doing quite a bit of traveling), so my friends thought that I was having the time of my life. That they did get right, but where it went wrong was when they started teasing me about ”haha oh well I guess the stress is gone now” or ironically ”darn you’re working hard poor you haha, wanna switch?”. I mean, why would I post ugly selfies of me being dead tired or sad posts about me having no energy after a 16h day at work? I’d much rather focus on the amazing people and amazing experiences I got that very same day. Needless to say, that’s not the behavior of friends, so maybe I shouldn’t be friends with that kind of people. But nevertheless whether you’re friends or not, assuming things is always a bad idea.

This is usually also the start of arguments and gossip and all things bad, so making assumptions in general should always be avoided. But hey, we’re human. But if there’s one thing I could ask for, it’s that please don’t make assumptions about how people are doing. First of all, it’s mostly not your business. And secondly (even more important in my opinion), if it is your business meaning that you’re close with each other, don’t assume, ask.  Again I’ll be self-centered and use myself as an example. Me being the terrible stresser I’ve always been, in the midst of my studies I’m fighting with stress, anxiety, and lately also depression. Yet if you look at my instagram feed or even at my behavior in public places, you’d think that I’m extremely happy. Yes, there’s snapchat where I’m a bit more honest, but I try not to splurge my bad mood there either (sorry for sometimes doing it, I know that I’m a bit too honest in snapchat but hey you’re my friends and I want to believe that you can just skip my my stories if you want to). Mostly because it never helps – wallowing in the bad mood only makes you feel worse. That’s why I use the fake smile sometimes. I fool people around me so they wouldn’t worry, and I fool myself so I would believe me when I say to myself that everything is fine. And yes, everything is fine. But on some days it’s harder to see than on others. And when I say harder, I mean impossible. My way to fight it is by being rather honest about it with at least one person (because hiding things doesn’t work either, especially when you’re in a place where you really worry about what you’re doing to yourself) and most importantly being happy about the good little things. I try to smile as much as I can, I try to laugh as much I can, I try to love as much as I can and I try to dance as much as I can. Those tips usually get me through the day. But sometimes, even if I’m making jokes and out loud admiring the gorgeous sunset and life in general, I might get home just to cry for hours. So, don’t assume how I’m doing. If you’re interested, ask me. I might still lie, but hey that’s my fault. But trust me that even asking makes me already feel a great deal better. And I say me, but I’m quite sure that I can talk for everyone.

My friends know me for asking ”how are you” a lot. I don’t always do it, but I try to. Because when I ask it, I really want to hear the response, and hopefully an honest one. Yes, we’re here to live for ourselves and we’re the ones that should be thought first when taking decisions (if you don’t live for yourself, then who’d do it?). But that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t care about others.  Stop the jealousity, stop the assumptions. Start asking how are you, and you realize that you might get a lot of those back.

P.S. I really know that everything is fine, and I know that I’ll be fine too. This is just on of my ways of coping whit it, I don’t mean to put my bad days on your shoulders. Hopefully you’re doing good as well. xx

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body talk

This theme has been extra popular lately, so popular that we’re probably all tired of it. But its popularity is a great, great thing. So I’m going to bring it up one more time.

As you know your own body is the one thing that you’ll certainly have to live with all your life, so let’s just all be content with ours shall we? Who wants to spend their lives next to something they don’t like. I’m so happy that body positivity and self-love is ”in” for people of all sizes, races and sexes. My grandmother has taught me to be very very aware of the risk of type 2 diabetes, so I most of all admire the love for a healthy lifestyle. As long as you live a healthy life (I’m not talking about only drinking green smoothies and working out 24/7 here, that’s not healthy anyways – I mean the general healthy lifestyle that we all know in the back of our minds even without googling fitness gurus) I love your body just as it is and I hope you love it too.

At least most adults have an idea of what a healthy body looks and feels like, but the biggest risk group in my opinion are the kids. A few days ago me and a friend of mine were looking at old photos of us, and we were shocked to see how skinny we were. And I’m not yet even 20 years old so I remember those days really well, and I remember thinking that I was fat. I held my tummy in all day, felt horrible for eating anything unhealthy / too much, looked disappointedly at every mirror, compared myself with everyone else and was only pleased with myself if I looked – now when I think about it – bony. I never believed anyone when they said that I was skinny, and after seeing a movie with a dancer in a crop top I ran in front of the mirror and wondered why didn’t my stomach look like hers, and then probably did some sit-ups in hopes to become more like her. At the age of about 11 years old.

Don’t get me wrong, I was a really happy kid. And I was never dangerously skinny, nor did I have an eating disorder. I did a lot of sports and I did eat quite well so overall I was healthy, but the way I thought about myself wasn’t healthy. And it wasn’t just me, I had a lot of friends who were even skinnier than me and together we would talk about how much weight we wanted to lose. Before even finishing upper school?!

I quit ice skating when I turned 12, so my life changed quite a lot when I didn’t have about 15h of exercise each week. So even though I did start dancing competitively and later doing other sports, little by little and hormone rush by hormone rush I’ve gotten a lot bigger, with muscles and with fat. I probably didn’t need to since I wasn’t too skinny even as a kid, but I know that my body looks just fine. I may want it to look a bit different, but at the same time I know that it doesn’t have to. As long as I maintain a healthy lifestyle (with ehm occasional breaks) I know I’m just fine the way I am, even if I don’t look like all the fitness blogger or influencers on instagram. But this realization has taken me literally ages, my 20th spring in this planet is the first time I actually feel like I can say this without lying. (yes okay, as a baby I probably loved everything – or hated for that matter, I was a grumpy baby) I’m so, so happy that most of the fitness gurus etc. are also speaking a lot about realistic expectations and almost always emphasize the meaning of healthiness above everything else. But there are still a bunch of kids who only see the pics of those influencers in crop tops and then run to the mirror to do some sit-ups. I worry for those kids. I worry that they – same as I worry that I would have if I didn’t have so many healthy people from my ice rink, family and friends around me – would do something to their body, something which might have permanent effects. Even to me, my old discontent with my body still does affect my life in a way – no matter what I look like, the days come too often when I can only spot everything that’s wrong with my body. But luckily I’ve slowly but surely learned to suppress those moments with self-love.

You can’t force anyone to love their body, but we can try to show a good example. Fitness bloggers/instagrammers etc (for example @imrececen, bless her!) are already doing that, and so should we ”normal people”. Let’s show the example of loving our selves so that kids would love themselves too. As we all know, kids can sometimes be super mean to each other. And while we can’t go racing each kid, hopefully we can little by little change the society so that it wouldn’t be so mean to them. Let’s try not to comment the tiny flaws in our bodies around kids, let’s try to say less of ”I wish I looked like them” around kids and let’s try being more positive about bodies around kids. If all kids are like in Finland, they don’t like their bodies being commented at – like almost no one either – even in positive ways, because often they might take it in a negative way. And they, and we, are so much more than their bodies. That’s the most important thing to remember. And to teach to the kids too. Being healthy (physically and mentally) and being happy walk hand in hand, so I hope that you are both. And hopefully you’re also doing your tiny part for the kids to be that too.

bikini: Kappahl, kimono: Carlings

 

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HOW TO WAKE UP BETTER

Okay so this is ironic since I’m writing this (though I’m posting this afterwards, sundays seem to have become my blogging days) in the bus after having lied in my bed for about 40min before getting myself up. But here I am! I’m late, but at least I’m on my way eh.

So, there’s one thing some might know about me and some might not: I. Hate. Early. Mornings. I absolutely despise them. Mornings are my favourite time of the day, but the thing is that if I could choose mornings would never start before 8 am. And I’m seriously thinking about starting my own tiny country where the whole system wakes up a few hours later than the rest of the world. Maybe one day! But since that day is yet not here and I still do have to wake up in time to go to school (though soon I won’t! Since we’re starting ’studying vacation’ which is certainly not vacation but instead preparing for our matriculation exams, but at least I get to do my own schedules!) or work when others tell me to. But I’ve found my tiny ways to cope with it a tiny bit better. And I’m more than grateful for any other tips! They’re well needed!

MAKE YOUR BED

You feel efficient straight thing in the morning, and also, you can’t just roll back under the blankets. It also makes coming home a bit nicer when your room isn’t a total mess.

WASH YOUR FACE WITH COLD WATER

Well, this one’s a classic.

PUT ON SOME MASCARA

Not to call you ugly or anything, but it’s a researched fact that people look more beautiful when they’re not tired. So after an ill-slept night standing in front of the mirror before 7 am I just feel like going to bed to hide from my puffy eyes and pale skin. So by cheating myself so that I don’t look as tired, I also don’t feel just as tired. Cold water / moisturizing cream for your face helps with the paleness together with eyebrow pen especially if you’re as fair as I am. And then the mascara to make your eyes not look just as puffy – and voilá! Of course this isn’t really a thing if you put on a whole set of makeup every morning but if you’re like me and don’t even know how to do that kind of magic and anyway prefer to stay in bed a bit later, this tip’s for you, as in us.

 

DRINK / EAT SOMETHING WITH VITAMIN C

My all-time favourite way to start the day is by drinking a smoothie I made myself and if (honestly it’s not an if) I’m in a hurry, taking a glass of good orange juice. It feels like drinking a piece of sunlight! Or you could just eat an orange, but let’s just be honest and agree that drinking is a lot easier (and if you make the juice yourself from oranges and water it’s just as healthy).

LISTEN TO YOUR HAPPY SONG

Or you can borrow one of mine; ”She moves in her own way” from The Kooks works quite well!

DO SOME SPORTS

Okay, this doesn’t work for me. I’m definitely not enough of a morning person for this. But I know this definitely works for some!

 

WEAR SOMETHING ELSE THAN A HOODIE AND SWEATPANTS

I mean there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a hoodie and sweatpants, but I swear that instead of wearing something that makes you feel like you’re still in bed, take the mascara tip and cheat yourself by not looking so tired.

EAT A GOOD, PEACEFUL BREAKFAST

Again, a classic. But in a hurry there’s no time for this so then you (I) have to grab your vitamin C and other fruits & quark and eat them on the way. The main thing is not to skip breakfast!

 

DRINK A GOOD OLD GLASS OF WATER

No explanations needed, right?

TAKE A STEP OUTSIDE

Bring the trash out, go get your mail or what ever it is but breath fresh air for a bit.

OPEN YOUR WINDOW BLINDS TO SEE SOME LIGHT

Okay well I live almost in the area of polar nights so for half a year this definitely doesn’t work for me but if you’re a bit luckier please enjoy it for me too heh!

STAY CLEAR OF YOUR PHONE

IT’S A TRAP! If you start scrolling through your feeds first thing in the morning, you’ll probably stay there for it to be your second and third thing in the morning too.

PUT SOMETHING WHERE IT BELONGS / ENLARGE YOUR GIVING AWAY- PILE

To me this is something that always makes me feel good, whether it’s finally folding my clothes and putting the to the closet from the chair where they’ve been for the past weeks, or organizing my desk or finally deciding to give away the shirt that I haven’t liked for years. And when  I start my day by doing as efficient as this (that’s what I tell myself, even though it takes about half a minute) my day starts a lot better.

Maybe also stretch a bit and if you’ve got time do a 5min yoga session (Asaka Rebel- app is amazing for this!!), put on a refreshing face mask and do the other nice things that make You feel happy and awake. And have a good day xx